Funding Church Growth

I've found a solution to all your budget woes, and it's been sitting in your pews, right under your pastoral noses, for some time.

My financial revelation is not original with me. It's come handed down from the sisters at Mount St. Francis parish and retirement complex in northwest Colorado Springs, Colorado. According to this article in the Houston Chronicle, the sisters take donations and, in return, offer their prayers.

What makes the prayers of the nuns worth some cash? They are professionals. They've surrendered marriage, wealth, freedom, and all sorts of wonderful earthly delights to devote themselves to prayer. So they'll do it for you, giving you a priority placement on their prayer lists, for a price.

And to think we evangelicals have been giving this stuff away for free!

Every church has a few potential sources for income here. We call them "prayer warriors." They are usually the little old ladies who have, like the nuns, forsaken all other whims in life for the duty of prayer. As a pastor, you count on them. You call them up when you have urgent issues. You may even rely on them to intercede in a case of sloppy sermon preparation or to cover your hinney when you're in a good old-fashioned church brawl. But they do this for you, and for many other people, entirely without cost or obligation. Prayer warriors are generally good people who have good hearts. But they have become victims of a greedy, parasitic ecclesiastical system which expects to pay nothing for intercession.

It's time to reconsider the policy of freebie prayers.

Imagine the boon to your budget here: Round up all the warriors and sit them down. Prepare a chart ahead of time that will list the degrees of prayer interventions that will be available. Assign the prayer team to designated business hours. Set your church secretary up as the phone hub for all prayer requests so each request can be accounted and billed. And then send the invoices flying!

Here are some suggestions for your fee structure.

1. Charge by the request, not by the hour.
2. Base the fee on a scale of urgency: the more urgent the need, the higher the price.
3. Double the charges on the following: confidential requests, felony forgivenesses, and the ever-popular "unspoken request."
4. Offer a "pray-without-ceasing" special that guarantees one prayer each hour for 48 hours. Charge a bundle for this.

If you implement this revenue enhancement in your church, please let me know of your success. And remember, I serve you here on a freewill offering basis, so I expect a cut.